I am terrified of graduating without some kind of closure with the boy I was in love with freshman year.  He was my best friend and we don’t know each other anymore.  And since we’re past the opportunity I just want to clear the air.

must run 3+ times this week.  it makes me feel so much better.

Jen is def. corseted here, but her arms look pretty good

(Source: bluemavor)

eggs and veggies, man.  I’m guessing right now that I’ll drop about 5 pounds in the weeks after graduation, simply because at home I have much better access to vegetables and fish.  But I’m revamping my eating again tomorrow.  I will make more progress. (So far, more muscle and not any thinner…)

(Source: fit-fab-happy, via i-w0rk-out)

(Source: yoga-body, via i-w0rk-out)

I went for the first real run in a long time yesterday.  I’d been only running on treadmills.  Yesterday I ran outside, and went for an hour.  My whole body aches and it is lovely :)

(Source: photoscrapbook, via araeofsunshyne)

(via missionthinspossible)

(Source: get-big-motivation, via i-w0rk-out)

(Source: diamondrefusal, via missionthinspossible)

(Source: weheartit.com, via i-w0rk-out)

(Source: poisonwars, via araeofsunshyne)

I’m still here, sorry ballerinas.  It turns out that I have bipolar thinking patterns… so I’m not bipolar exactly, but in the spectrum somewhere.  I think I’ve been this way most of my life.  But the good thing is that I can change, I can fix it.

I’m gonna be okay. 

I just binged.  Long story, but I had a panic attack.  At least I didn’t cut.  Getting up early and gymming til exhaustion.

It worries me that more and more often I’m thinking in song lyrics instead of real thoughts.  I’ve done well this week.  I’ve managed to be pretty stable since Monday afternoon.  Tonight, though…

I just want to be happy.  I know that loneliness is a bad reason to find someone to be with…but I just want somebody to hold me.  And I don’t want to scare away the guy I like with this deep, dark sadness inside me.  I just. Want.  To be happy.